Archive for the 'Funny jokes' Category

The Girl I Like The Most

Fred is 32 years old and he is still single. One day a friend asked, “Why aren’t you married? Can’t you find a woman who will be a good wife?” Fred replied, “Actually, I’ve found many women that I have wanted to marry, but when I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother […]

Bathroom Lights

A doctor is making a routine call to one of his elderly patients. He asks, ”And how are you doing today, Mr. Johnson?” Mr. Johnson replies, ”I feel just fine, doc. But you know, it’s the strangest thing. Every night when I get up to pee, the bathroom light goes on for me automatically when […]

Top 25 World’s Shortest Books

Following is the list of world’s shortest books The Engineer’s Guide To Fashion Things I Wouldn’t Do For Money by Dennis Rodman Human Rights Advances In China The Differences Between Reality And Dilbert The Book Of Virtue by Bill Clinton To All The Men I’ve Loved Before Ellen DeGeneres My Plan To Find The Real […]

You’re Growing Older When

You have three sizes of clothes in your closet …two of which you will never wear. Your kids are becoming you, and you don’t like them. But your grandchildren are perfect! Going out is good. Coming home is better! When you needed the discount, you paid full price. Now, you get discounts on everything: movies, […]

Valentines Day in Stone Age

Who is the best!

Four men got together to play golf one sunny morning. As they were heading out to the course, one of them was detained by a phone call. The other three were discussing their children while walking to the first tee. “My son,” said one proudly, “has made quite a name for himself in the home […]

Top 10 signs you may be a fundamental atheist

1. You became an atheist when you were 10 years old, based on ideas of God that you learned in Sunday School. Your ideas about God haven’t changed since. 2. You think that the primary aim of an omni-benevolent God is for people to have FUN. 3. Although you’ve memorized a half a dozen proofs […]

Bar troubleshooting chart

SYMPTOM: Beer unusually pale and tasteless. FAULT: Glass empty. ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer. SYMPTOM: Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet. FAULT: Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of face. ACTION: Retire to gent’s room, practice in mirror. SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet. FAULT: Glass being held […]