Archive for 2009

A blonde go icefishing

A blonde decides to go icefishing so she heads out early one morning, sets her equipment up on the ice, and begins to drill a hole. She then hears a voice from above that says, “There’s no fish down there.” Disappointed, she drags her equipment 50 yards further onto the ice. Again she begins drilling […]

Job seekers from the past

Everyone’s looking for a job. If you haven’t been laid off, you might be soon, or else you need a second job to just keep up. What if historical characters had to go through the modern job application and interview process? Julius Caesar: My last job involved a lot of office politics and back stabbing. […]

Jokes for Thanksgiving

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn’t find one fresh enough for her family. She asked the stock boy, “Don’t you have fresh turkeys?” The stock boy answered, “But they are all dead. Now how can I make them take a bath?” What did the mama turkey say […]

Top 15 rules of drunk dialing

Before you go out getting sloppy drunk and start phoning every friend, family, relative, or random person you can come across – there are a few rules you must know. Etiquette is very important, especially when drunk dialing. 1. Only drunk dial when you’re drunk. Everything else is false advertisement. 2. It’s okay to call […]

The last $50

A lady is having a bad day at the roulette tables in ‘Vegas. She’s down to her last $50. Exasperated, she exclaims, ‘What rotten luck! What in the world should I do now?’ A man standing next to her, trying to calm her down, suggests, ‘I don’t know… why don’t you play your age?’ He […]

Hilarious signs

Over a gynecologist’s office: “Dr. Jones, at your cervix.” On a plumber’s truck: “We repair what your husband fixed.” On the trucks of a local plumbing company in NE Pennsylvania: “Don’t sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.” Pizza shop slogan: “7 days without pizza makes one weak.” Outside a muffler shop: “No appointment necessary. […]

The heart of the matter

A man who was having heart trouble went to the doctor to see what his options were. Naturally, the doctor recommended a heart transplant. The man reluctantly agreed, and asked if there were any hearts immediately available, considering that money was no object. “I do have three hearts,” said the doctor. “The first is from […]

Blonde at bus stop

A blonde was visiting Washington, DC for the first time. She wanted to see the Capital building. Unfortunately, she couldn’t find it, so she asked a police officer for directions – “Excuse me, officer, how do I get to the Capital building?” The officer replied, “Wait here at this bus stop for the number 54 […]