Archive for 2008

Actual School Excuse Notes

These are excuse notes from parents (with their original spelling) collected by schools from all over the country, amazingly funny: My son is under a doctor’s care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him. Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot. Dear School: Please exscuse John […]

The Morning After

A young couple were married and celebrated their first night together, doing what newlyweds do, time and time again, all night long. Morning came, and the groom went into the bathroom but found no towel when he emerged from the shower. He asked his bride to please bring one from the bedroom. When she got […]

The Mistress

A married couple was enjoying a dinner out when a statuesque brunette walked over to their table, exchanged warm greetings with the husband, and walked off. “Who was that?” the wife demanded. “If you must know,” the husband replied, “that was my mistress.” “Your mistress? That’s it! I want a divorce!” the wife fumed. The […]

That’s Bull

A man takes his wife to the cattle market. They come up to a bull, and his sign says, “This bull mated 50 times last year.” The wife turns to her husband and says, “He mated 50 times in a year; you could learn from him.” They proceed to the next bull, and his sign […]

Young Secretary

Two law partners hire a sexy, young secretary, and though they’re both already married, they agree to see who can score with her first. Eventually, one of them scores with her, and his partner is quite eager to hear how things went. “So, what did you think?” asks the partner. “Ah,” replies the first partner, […]

Some Amazing Bumper Stickers

My wife keeps complaining I never listen to her…or something like that. Keep honking while I reload. If we are what we eat; I’m cheap, fast, and easy. Bad Cop! No Donut! Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. It’s lonely at the top, but you eat better I love cats … they taste […]

Tricking a Nun

A hippie gets onto a bus and sits next to a nun in the front seat. The hippie looks over and asks the nun if she would have sex with him. The nun, surprised by the question, politely declines and gets off at the next stop. When the bus starts again, the bus driver says […]

Any Objections

Brad had a blind date with Angelina for the prom and, as the evening progressed, he found himself attracted to her more and more. After some really passionate embracing, he said, “Tell me, do you object to making love?” “That’s something I have never done before,” Angelina replied. “Never made love? You mean you are […]